Tell Me Why

A day with no glory A heart filled with fear Still repeating his-story to make ourselves clear A voice is unheard when it shouts from the hills Your king in his castle never died on these fields There's blood on your hands A smile on your face A wicked intention when there's money to be made A room with no windows and a heart that can't feel Shame with no convictions and a view to a kill Tell me why Why must we fight And why must we kill in the name of what you think is right No more. No war. 'Cause how do you know The hate in your eyes The lies on your tongue A hand that kills the innocent So quick to do wrong Your belly is full while we fight for what remains The rich getting richer while the poor become slaves We kill our own brothers The truth is never told If victory is freedom then the truth is untold Surrender your soul just like everyone else If love is my religion, don't speak for myself Tell me why Why must we fight And why must we kill in the name of what we think is right No more. No war 'Cause how do you know I'm living this life I'm given these lies And how can I die for the name of what you think is right No more. Oh lord How do we know

Pain and suffering

Religulous

All of my "Christian" friends should watch this.

"Lighthouses are more useful than churches." -Benjamin Franklin "This would be the best of all possible worlds if there were no religion in it!" -John Adams "Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man." -Thomas Jefferson

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying: You ain't where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!" -my all-time hero, Rocky Balboa

"There was a time I could see. And I have seen boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there is nothing like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that." -Lt. Col. Frank Slade

Zoom in 2 Seoul City

대한민국의 대동맥 서울의 인구는 천백만 이미 포화상태 좌파 우파 빈과 부가 한데 엉켜 만들어내는 모순된 그 불협화음은 숨막히는 교통체증에 소음에 가려 들리지 않으나 내 귀에는 들리네 유년시절의 유복함과 박복함을 다 맛본 나는 술에 취한 김에 노래 불러본다. 8학군엔 열정을 미8군엔 냉정을 그래도 클럽의 양키에겐 모두가 예스예스 반미시위 대학생의 청바지는 리바이스 아니면 게스 무너져가는 빡촌이 박정희 논쟁보다도 시급해 늘어나는 성범죄 성매매 특별법은 이미 박물관으로 갔어 안마시술소는 늘 돈많은 수컷들로 붐벼대 그 시간 서울역의 노숙자는 백원에 감지덕지 서울의 밤하늘은 꽤나 밝기만 한데 서울의 달빛 또한 꽤나 맑기만 한데 알고보면 화려한 네온사인 때문에 화려함에 눈이 멀어 볼수 없는 진실 1억8000만 평의 작은 이 서울이라는 도시위에 들어선 고층빌딩들 만치 늘어선 인간들 인간의 헛된 망상을 투영하는 마천루 그것에 기대 작은것에 의미를 찾지 못하는 기름끼 가득한 생각뿐인 사기꾼이 무너뜨린 건물과 다리 만치 무너진 인심 2002년 빠르게 끓었던 서울이라는 냄비 그것도 잠시 뜨거웠던 광화문의 열기는 이미 티비에나 가끔 나오는 역사 속유물이 되어버렸어 쉽게 잊게되는게 몸에 베어버렸어 또한 가난이란 것에 어느새 적응이 됐는지 잊혀진 98년도 IMF 모두가 수동적인 자세로 초침에 쫒기다보니 불침번처럼 예민해져 옷깃만 스쳐도 인연이라는데 눈빛만 스쳐도 서로 인상을 찌푸리네 왜 대부분 말로는 페미니즘 대게는 오늘밤 벤츠앞에 그녀는 너무나 상냥해 예전에 나의 그녀도 생활의 삼중고를 겪고 흔한 중고차도 없는 날 무참히 버리고 떠났어 그래 난 무전유죄지만 날 버렸던 그녀의 현주소는 신용불량자 그 남자 알고보니 유전유죄 젊은 유부남 돈에 미친 Seoul City의 사기꾼은 증가추세다 독거노인과 결식아동은 증가추세다 북에 퍼다주는 쌀과 돈도 증가추세다 증시는 하락추세다 맨날 뻔한 선거 유세다 민주주위는 재벌들에게 달아준 날개다 중산층이란 계층은 눈씻고 찾아봐도 없고 독과점에 희생돼 빈부의 격차는 자꾸 커져가 삐딱선을 탄 교육열 때문에 애들은 비행 청소년 내지는 단순 입력장치로 변해가 - Kinetic Flow

"착한 거, 그거 바보 같은 거 아니야. 가엾게 여기는 마음, 그거 무른 거 아니야. 남 때문에 우는 거, 자기가 잘못한 거 생각하면서 가슴 아픈 거, 그게 설사 감상이든 뭐든 그거 예쁘고 좋은 거야. 열심히 마음 주다가 상처 받는 거, 그거 창피한 거 아니야...... 정말로 진심을 다하는 사람은 상처도 많이 받지만 극복도 잘하는 법이야. 고모가 너보다 많이 살면서 정말 깨달은 거는 그거야." 나도 그 정도는 알아, 안다구, 하고 나는 말할 뻔했다. 그건, 나를 치료하고자 했던 신경정신과 의사들 앞에서 언제나 하던 말이었다. 그래, 유정이 너 아는 거 많지. 네가 나름대로 정신과에 관련된 서적 많이 읽은 것도 안다. 그런데 유정아, 아는 건 아무것도 아닌 거야. 아는 거는 그런 의미에서 모르는 것보다 더 나빠. 중요한 건 깨닫는 거야. 아는 것과 깨닫는 거에 차이가 있다면 깨닫기 위해서는 아픔이 필요하다는 거야, 라고 외삼촌은 말했었다. 더 아프기 싫어요, 라고 나는 대꾸했었다. 아마 까르르 웃었던가? -공지영, <우리들의 행복한 시간>에서 "인간에게는 누구나 공통된 것이 하나 있는데 그것은 누구나 사랑받고 싶어하고 인정받고 싶어하며 실은, 다정한 사람과 사랑을 나누고 싶어한다는 것, 그 이외의 것은 모두가 분노로 뒤틀린 소음에 불과하다는 것, 그게 진짜라는 것."

All The Same

Wrong or right, black or white If I close my eyes, it's all the same In my life, the compromise I'll close my eyes, it's all the same And I'll take you for who you are now If you take me for everything And do it all over again It's all the same -part of the song by Sick Puppies

T.S. Eliot

I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you Which shall be the darkness of God. As, in a theatre, The lights are extinguished, for the scene to be changed With a hollow rumble of wings, with a movement of darkness on darkness, And we know that the hills and the trees, the distant panorama And the bold imposing facade are all being rolled away -- Or as, when an underground train, in the tube, stops too long between stations And the converstaion rises and slowly fades into silence And you see behind every face the mental emptiness deepen Leaving only the growing terror of nothing to think about; Or when, under ether, the mind is conscious but conscious of nothing -- I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love, For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting. Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought; So the darkness shall be the light, and stillness the dancing. Whisper of running streams, and winter lightning. The wild thyme unseen and the wild strawberry, The laughter in the garden, echoed ecstasy Not lost, but requiring, pointing to the agony Of death and birth. You say I am repeating Something I have said before. I shall say it again. Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there, To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not, You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy. In order to arrive at what you do not know You must go by a way in which is the way of ignorance. In order to possess what you do not possess You must go by the way of dispossession. In order to arrive at what you are not You must go through the way in which you are not. And what you do not know is the only thing you know And what you own is what you do not own And where you are is where you are not. from East Coker (No.2 of 'Four Quartets')

1:43 AM after the emergency room visit...

Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal

Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel

My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the

Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands

They've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance

George Carlin

When it comes to bullshit... big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion.

Religion has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'till the end of time!

But he loves you.

He loves you, and he needs money! He always needs money!

He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!

Religion takes in billions of dollars; they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story.

Holy Shit!

Marcus Aurelius

"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones."

words of Turpis Harecticum

As a Christian, I came to the conclusion years ago that "eternal hell" had nothing to do with justice. Hell was merely a dumping ground for God's trash (who happened to be human-beings that He created). Later (as an ex-Christian) I came to realize that it was only a fear tactic of first/second century philosophers and priests who wrote the New Testament, and borrowed many of their ideas from the Greeks. Of the four words used for "hell" in the New Testament, two are actually Greek concepts, "Tartarus" and "Hades". Conscience and reason would no longer allow me to accept these barbaric and degrading Christian views of humanity.

그들은 사창가를 가거나 어두운 대폿집을 드나들며 퇴폐의 흉내도 냈지만 어느 길로 가는 것이 지도자가 되는 길인가도 잘 알았다. 절대로 자기 자신을 정말 방기하지는 않았다. 인호나 나처럼 온몸을 던지는 일은 곁에서 지켜보기에는 신나는 모험이었지만 그들 자신은 끝내는 신중한 충고를 하며 한 걸음 비켜섰다. 하지만 그들이 가진 매력 가운데 으뜸인 것은 역시 자기 존재와 생각을 서투르게 드러내지 않는 점이었다. 또한 밖으로 드러낼 때도 일부러 그것을 보편적인 사물에의 비유나 실제적인 것으로 바꾸어 표현했다. 그들 중 더 우수하고 현실적인 친구들은 육십년대에 외국기업들이 살금살금 발을 들여놓을 적에 외국회사의 지사원으로 출발하거나 유학을 가거나 대기업 사원 또는 신문기자가 되거나 고시에 들었다. 나는 이런 정도의 수준에 있던 다른 학교의 고만고만한 또래들과도 연줄을 통하혀 알게 되었다. 그들의 대개는 명문대학으로 가서 서로 교제를 확대시키기 마련이었다. 이런 길에서 탈락되었던 청소년기의 어느 때부터 나는 저절로 알아차렸다. 이들이 얽어내는 그물망 같은 사교가 서로 직조 되어 일정한 그림으로 나타난, 이를테면 연애와 결혼, 성공과 실패, 출세와 낙오, 사랑과 야망 따위의 전형들이 결국은 한강을 둘러싼 자본주의 근대와 사회의 풍속도를 그려내고 있음을. 아니면 로스앤젤레스와 뉴욕에까지 연결되고 그 길은 더욱 확장되고 뚜렷해질 것이었다. 어쨌든 내가 그때의 그 모퉁이에서 삐끗, 했던 것은 지금에 와서 돌이켜보면 필연이었다. 그 길은 내가 어릴 적부터 어렴풋하게, 이건 빌딩가의 대로처럼 너무도 뻔하고 획일적이라고 느껴왔던 삶으로 가게 될 확실한 도정이었다. 그러나 벗어났을 때의 공포는 당시에는 견디기 힘들었다. 자퇴를 하고 나서 맥놓고 걸어가던 하굣길이 생각난다. 막상 일을 저질러놓고 나니 이제부터 내 앞에 놓인 길은 어디나 뒷길이 될지도 모른다는 불안감이 엄습해왔다. 나는 이제 의사나 법관이나 관료나 학자나 사업가나 존경받을 장래의 모든 가능성으로부터 스스로 잘려나온 것이다. 나는 내안에서 두 가지의 세상을 겪는다. 어느 얌전하고 선량한 학생이 집에 가다가 골목길에서 야간부의 상업학교나 공업학교의 불량학생을 만나면 그들의 실체에 관해서 아무것도 므르면서 두려움과 적의를 갖는다. 십중팔구는 몇 대 얻어터질 수도 있고 용돈을 털릴 수도 있다. 나는 그 창백한 학삐리이면서 또한 불량배였던 것이다. 학교를 그만두고 나서 집에서나 동네에서 빈둥거릴 때에 나는 나를 바라보는 사람들의 시선에서 당혹감을 느꼈다. 한편으로 그들에게 문제아 취급을 받다보니 소위 선량한 학생들은 어떠한가 하는 걸 비교적 냉정하게 살필 수가 있었다. 그들은 거의 대부분이 자신들과는 다른 나 같은 부류를 두려워하거나 믿지 못했고 호의를 보일 적에도 자연스럽지 않았다. 나는 아침에 창문 앞에 서서 안개를 가르며 등교하는 여학생들의 하얀 칼라와 남학생들의 번쩍이는 모표를 바라보며 그들의 아득한 길을 가늠해보았다. -황석영, <개밥바라기 별> 에서

Media Hype Blowback

The UN global warming conference currently underway in Poland is about to face a serious challenge from over 650 dissenting scientists from around the globe who are criticizing the climate claims made by the UN IPCC and former Vice President Al Gore. Set for release this week, a newly updated U.S. Senate Minority Report features the dissenting voices of over 650 international scientists, many current and former UN IPCC scientists, who have now turned against the UN. The report has added about 250 scientists (and growing) in 2008 to more than 12 times the number of UN scientists (52) who authored the media hyped IPCC 2007 Summary for Policymakers. The U.S. Senate report is the latest evidence of the growing groundswell of scientific opposition rising to challenge the UN and Gore. "I am a skeptic... Global warming has become a new religion." -Nobel Prize Winner for Physics, Ivar Giaever. Warming fears are the "worst scientific scandal in the history... When people come to know what the truth is, they will feel deceived by sceince and scientists." -UN IPCC Japanese Scientist Dr. Kiminori Itoh, an award-winning PhD environmental physical chemist. "Many [scientists] are now searching for a way to back out quietly (from promoting warming fears), without having their professional careers ruined." -Atmospheric physicist James A. Peden, formerly of the Space Research and Coordination Center in Pittsburgh. (Taken from the website of U.S. Senate Committee on Environment & Public Works- http://epw.senate.gov)

Creationism vs Evolution

Imagine flipping a coin over and over. For each toss, the odds are fifty-fifty that it will come up heads (a one-in-two chance). The odds of getting two heads in a row is a one-in-two-to-the-power-of-two chance, or one-in-four. Five heads in a row is 1:2^5, or one-in-thirty-two. A hundred heads? 1:2^100, or roughly one in 1.3 trillion trillion trillion (thank Gates for the little calculator program on my computer). A creationist would claim that all the lucky chances that evolution requires is like getting not one, not five, but millions upon millions of heads in a row.

But the creationists are forgetting something. Evolution ISN'T random, as they often claim. It's selected. You can't really blame creationists for missing this fact...Darwin cleverly concealed it from view by calling his theory 'natural selection.' Let's return to our coin-tossing example, this time including the principle of selection. What if, after every toss, we had the option of not counting it? What if we were allowed to simply discard every toss that came up tails? Now, given the ability to select, how long would it take to rack up a hundred heads in a row? About two hundred throws.

Once you understand the concept of selection, and how it applies to evolution, you realize that what was thought to be vanishingly unlikely actually becomes virtually inevitable.

From Dark Knight

"The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules." "See, I'm not a monster... I'm just ahead of the curve." "You thought we could be decent men in an indecent world. But you were wrong; the world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance." "Sometimes truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded."

Christmas

A pagan holiday of the winter solstice (Dec. 25) designated to worship Isis and her baby son was adopted by the Constantine as a christian holiday to unite the people who were different on religion. With the general conversion of Europe to Christianity, the date was linked to the birth of Jesus, but there is no clear scriptural support for that particular date.

The ancient Romans celebrated the Winter Solstice on this day in honor of the "Unconqured Sun". In addition, a very popular Mystery Cult devoted to the Persian god Mithras also honored him that day. Christianity, a syncretistic religion, adopted this day as the celebration of Christ's birth much like it did with Samhain and the festival of Pomona for All Saints Day (Halloween).

So let's look at the scriptures.

Hear what the Lord says to you, O house of Israel. This is what the Lord says: "Do not learn the ways of the nations or be terrified by signs in the sky, though the nations are terrified by them.

For the customs of the peoples are worthless; they cut a tree out of the forest, and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel. They adorn it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so it will not totter."

Jeremiah 10:1-4

2:56 am

She's come full circle I'm here at square one She can do what she wants I'm trying to do what she's done So now it seems that I'm ready For you, so have we begun? You say that we're moving forward Faster than we really know Your laughter slowly takes over Your confidence I'll never know The universe is full of Reflections but you have eyes That can see in another dimension All the things that I've tried to hide All my thoughts are just useful thinking You found time to think of me I guess it's true what they say in this lifetime You just might find the thing that you need -Inda, Ken Oak Band