어느 깊은 가을밤, 잠에서 깨어난 제자가 울고 있었다.
그 모습을 본 스승이 기이하게 여겨 제자에게 물었다.

"무서운 꿈을 꾸었느냐?"
"아닙니다."

"슬픈 꿈을 꾸었느냐?"
"아닙니다.  달콤한 꿈을 꾸었습니다."

"그런데 왜 그리 슬피 우느냐?"

제자는 흐르는 눈물을 닦아내며 나지막이 말했다.

"그 꿈은 이루어질 수 없기 때문입니다...."

She did know me.

And I knew her.

I always have

from the first instant.

And the rest of it, it didn't matter.

It was past.

It was as if it had never been.

It was just my memory of it.

Between stimulus and response there is a space.  In that space is our power to choose our response.  In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

- Viktor E. Frankl

배우기를 좋아하지 않으면 나타나는 폐단

공자께서 자로에게 말씀하셨다.

"유야 너넌 육언육폐라는 말을 들어 본 적이 있느냐?"

자로가 대답했다.

"아직 듣지 못했습니다."

"앉거라.  내가 그 폐단에 관해 말해 주겠다.  인을 좋아한다면서 배우기를 싫어하면 어리석어지고, 지혜를 좋아한다면서 배우기를 싫어하면 허황해지며, 신의를 좋아한다면서 배우기를 싫어하면 의를 해치게 되고, 정직함을 좋아한다면서 배우기를 싫어하면 가혹해지며, 용기를 좋아한다면서 배우기를 싫어하면 난폭해지고, 굳세기를 좋아한다면서 배우기를 싫어한다면 무모해진다."

#AccordingToMyMother

When my mom disowned me for being gay, it was my freshman year of college.  I remember going to the Financial Aid Office to consider my options as a suddenly-and-unxpectedly financially-independent 16-year-old, and they had me fill out some surprisingly simple paperwork and register for ten sessions of therapy.  The therapist I was assigned ended up being the best to come form the Financial Aid Office -- of all places!  He really helped me find a new way to approach my relationship with my mother.

He said I could be "White," "Black" or "Gray."  "White" meant I could go back in the closet as my mom hoped and prayed and return to the church and fight this "sin" and have the old relationship I had my mother.  "Black" meant resuming our silence, letting the rift grow larger and learning to live without a relationship with my mother because neither of us was going to change.  I was always going to be gay.  She was always going to believe that homosexuality was a choice and a sin.  Or I could try to find the "Gray."  He highlighted the fact that my mother was a single parent and I was an only child and that our relationship, while incredibly messy, was important to each of us.  And perhaps we could find a gray area in which I would accept the likelihood that she was never going to change her belief system, but I would learn to have compassion in the face of her homophobia, or ignore her ignorance, and let her words that were meant to hurt just go through one ear and out the other.  Love by example, even when it may never be reciprocated in the same fashion.  Am I always successful at this?  No.  I mean, I find a weird form of catharsis by writing about it and sharing it with the world.  But I think the intention is pure.  And maybe if we found the gray area in our extreme points of view a little bit more, then maybe we could have a little more understanding in the world.  A little more love.

-- Daniel K. Issac, The Huffington Post Interview